You found me (T.F, 2009)

Bits and pieces of 

The Fray's You Found Me.

"Lost and insecure,

you found me,

lying on the floor.

why you have to wait.

where were you?

just a lil late.

you found me.

In the end, everyone ends alone.

losing her,

the only one whose' ever know.

who am i. 

who i was,

who i wanna be.

early morning,

city breaks.

i have been calling.

years and years and years and years.

you never left me no msges,

you never sent me no letters,

you got some kind of nerves.

taking all i want.

you found me 

lying on the floor.

why'd  you have to wait?

to find me,

to find me"

with disgust, we discuss.

its strange,

its queer,

its amazing,

how appetizing,

it is.

really.

wait,

you'll see.

its here.

now.

fine.

great. 

splendid.

awesome.

nice.

one.

u did it.

again.

but,

nothing,

is new.

indeed.

let me,

think.

wonder.

wander.

bye.

nice to meet you.

see you,

never again.

living with your repented sin

would i have the courage?

would i be able to talk freely about it?

all about repentance,

and the gift of forgiveness,

to be able to say,

i am no longer attached,

to the bondage,

too heavy to bear.

i want to speak one lingua,

i want to live one life,

there is nothing,

nothing that should be hidden.

am i ready?

ok, the question is not about me,

its all about You.

solitude

Boulevard of Broken Dreams. (G.D, 2004)

i realised the meaning of solitude.

when i walk alone along paths,

and it struck me how often we are by ourselves.

the "me" time is essential.

for me.

to me, 

its time we reflect.

walking home one day.

i asked myself,

what do i want in my life?

i looked up the cloudy sky,

and it dawned upon me,

that,

i do not live for myself.

sharks,

i forgot.

like seriously, for that bitsy moment.

in the silence of the night,

i lay and wonder.

i lie and read,

i hopped into slumberland,

almost instantly.

i dream,

i see,

i walk the walk.

i sing the song.

i dream the dream.

and i live the life.

the life, of the unknown.

i take the step of faith,

to live the life,

He wants me to.

i read the book,

i pray the prayer,

i seek to hear,

i listen in the silent nights,

i hide,

i was found,

and now i want to go.

to the place, unknown.

to the people, strangers.

the time, unclocked.

the why and how factor?

just obey.

plus trust.

 

as it is

As time goes,

as history comes,

as the future unveils.

the future, 

the scene, unleashed, like never before.

deja vu,

u thought it was there,

but was it really there?

if life was so.

as it is.

as it goes,

as it comes,

do you think it can pass the test?

the fire test.

there are just some things you know you won't

and those that you have no doubt of.

for the rest, 

it should be left unsaid,

never. ever.

its true,

how fragile everything is.

tough as a shield,

as fragile as one as well.

contradiction.

with a capital C.

Contradiction.

Complexity.

Chaos.

Choices.

Characteristics.

Carelessness,

as if Can, was just a mere (k)not away from Cannot.

Could you pass the ketchup over please?

i need to,

to cover up some of these, chips.

What is that?

i have been thinking lately,

what's that something?

that one thing,

that keeps me thinking.

i dunno,

i might never know,

i might actually find out,

but i have yet to know.

the uncertainty 

the unpredictability

the possibilities

of the unknown,

least to the known.

eh,

but whenever i look at the clouds,

it makes me realise.

the world is not that simple.

the combinations; of happenings,

it can't be chance.

it can't be.

that i am 100% sure.

period.

chance is chance,

an opportunity is golden.

so is silence.

opportunity is therefore silence.

i dunno,

but its true.

a. eulogy.

Eulogy, is defined as "a speech, piece of writing, poem, etc. containing great praise, especially for someone who recently died or stopped working? by the Cambridge dictionary.

I was just thinking,

a eulogy. your eulogy.

my eulogy.

That how something, or more precisely, 

someone's ratings just shoots sky high after taking That last breath.

NTU lost a kid, ( David Widjaja,21)

so did NUS. (Scott Monat, 21)

maybe this has been happening, just left unnoticed.

but, this made me realised.

the person sitting next to you in lecture is a timed-bomb,

the cleaner aunty who smiled to you in the morning,

you lab partner,

the girl who carries this bright orange bag to lectures,

the guy who talks weird,

the class nerd,

your tutorial group mate,

that girl at sports practice,

that fellow in my cca,

my cluster mate who plays the violin horribly,

that AA guy in your cohort,

my friend.

me,

and 

u.

that just left earth, 

i think cherish is one tough nut.

it could be anytime,

anyone,

anywhere,

anyhow,

just for all reasons,

but, we are blunt.

it's just life, 

i guess.

seize, first,

then. think.

write a living eulogy.

one from the heart.

to the one. 

everyone.

for the One.

in peace, u rest

In about 2 days,

On 3rd March, 06,

3 years ago.

a call came, 

......

i knew it was the end.

There was no more return.

She had passed on.

i was lost for words, 

i think i was pale as sheet,

i forgot what happened in between.

then, i was at the parlour.

i heard weeping and mourning.

her mum was devastated.

her siblings tired, and tearful.

i was emotionless,

i dunno, 

but i knew it was hard for her to look at us in our eyes.

why her?

i didnt know how to weep,

i couldnt cry.

i just couldnt enter the data,

that she was gone,

forever.

i dont even remember the last time i saw her.

ok, i think i do now.

i just said a casual hi,

i dont think we actually engaged in an actual conversation.

then a usual bye,

that was it?

yeah. 

now, when i see you,

in your coffin,

flashbacks of what happened in class 2 years back.

we werent particularly close.

but we had tales to tell,

that we will remember if i were to ask you,

did you know u were close?

did you see it coming?

i know, cos we wont know,

and no one's too young,

too young to go,

to young to be left.

cos u weren't even 19.

i wont be seeing you,

even if eternity exist.

and i dont want all friendships to end like this.

i dont want an urn to remember you.

i dont want a photograph,

not even a memory,

because i wish i had told you that something,

that i will see you when i die.

i dunno,

but, 

i am like i was, 3 years back.

the same, 

emotionless and speechless,

from your lost.

rip, pal.

Where did you hide your closet skeleton?

When was the last time you found yourself smiling to yourself, recalling something unspeakable you did?

When was the last time you wished everyone would disappear so you would stop hiding?

What is your dark secret? So dark chocolate switched over to milk.

How low can you go?

How long can you run?

How high can you jump?

How deep can you dive?

How shallow will it all surface to?

I think one night, i will just spill.

Just for old time sake.

I think i need a needle and thread to sew my thoughts,

I need glue or staples, to hold them together,

and definitely, paper, to jot them down,

a ruler, to align them, 

and a stripper, 

to complete the cycle of recycling.